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crossroads of life

8-Steps to Navigate the Crossroads of life

In the words of David Bowie (any excuse to quote him:)), ‘Where are we now’? For me, this triggers the next question, ‘Where do we want to go’? There have been countless times in my life when I’ve had to choose a road to travel on and I’m not just talking literally. Whether it has been spiritually, emotionally or in my work, there has been a lot of choosing going on at ‘the crossroads of life’.

Sometimes, at the time of choosing, I have been unsure whether or not I made the best decision in a given situation. The alternative though, of standing still or even worse, stagnating has not reaped any rewards for me. It has more likely been detrimental to my mental health. I’m very good at giving myself a hard time about dithering around at the beginning of a new road. I can often feel mentally paralysed in taking a decisive step in any direction; choose a path Claire, any path, just choose and start putting one foot in front of the other and take aligned action.

Next Best Steps

It can be difficult when you’re at a crossroad in life; to know what the next best step is or even more of a challenge, to realise a bigger picture about where you want to go. The choices of life can be crossroad overwhelming. The fear of making the wrong turn can be immense enough to stop you taking any steps or action in any direction.

We can get stuck in our head and forget to listen to our body when we think about where we want to go. Ruminating in our head gets us nowhere fast and can actually create a backward motion and more frustration.

What about if we took the control back from our minds firing in all directions and were able to focus simply on the way we want to head? Life would certainly feel more in sync and we would experience more flow in our lives.

Throughout my years of training and self-development, I’ve found some really useful ways to do this. I want to share some of those ways here (but also share about my in-person Crossroads Coaching Circle for up to 10 people at a time, you can find out more here.) For now though, read on for tips on how to manage your crossroad moments in life.

The Crossroads of Life

  1. Figure out where you are now — ask yourself lots of questions, such as, what does a successful meaningful life mean to me? Do I believe that I deserve this life? When I think about my life/work/business and moving forward/changing direction, what blocks/sabotaging thoughts/challenges come up for me? What impact do they have.
  2. Figure out your big WHY for a change in direction/a new path/new decisions, what is driving this? If you don’t know why you want to go in a particular direction, what is the point of going there?
  3. Look at your strengths, are you using them in your life/work. Do your strengths also become your weaknesses if over used? Happiness research says that you’ll be happier if you have opportunities to use your strengths.
  4. With regards to work, are your pillars of happiness fulfilled? The Flo Coach 6 Pillars of Happiness include Autonomy, Connection, Contribution, Fairness, Growth and Purpose. Will the next road create more balance in these 6 areas?
  5. Do you know your stress triggers? Have you got a tool-bag of techniques to help you self-regulate while you navigate decisions and action-taking in your new direction.
  6. Become more aware of your mind saboteurs and subconscious programming that can stop you in your tracks. Recognising these tricksters and remaining in your conscious brain, rather than letting them take over, will help to keep you on the road and focusing on your goals.
  7. Learn to get yourself into flow more often. Set up a flow routine and recognise what activities enable you to reach the flow state. It’s lovely spending time there. This is where your sabotaging mind can’t go and it’s so nice to have that break.
  8. And finally, make realistic goals that you actually want to achieve, not just anything plucked out of the sky. Once you know your wishes/wants/desires, then make sure you add an ‘if-then’ plan, to help counteract those pesky saboteurs again. If ….. happens (to scuffer your goal), then I will do ….. Having an if-then plan is the missing key to making powerful goals.


I hope this is a helpful list. This is how I work with my clients to support them in making decisions about their future and the direction they want to go in. Plus, I use practical techniques to help them emotionally regulate. These include, deep conscious breathwork, relaxation techniques and vagus nerve and brain exercises to help balance the nervous system.

Please get in touch if you would like to chat about anything mentioned here. If you’re local to Brighton and Hove and are interested in joining my Crossroad Coaching Circle, you can email me claire@theflocoach.com

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